Welcome to the NFL (Taylor’s Model).

Taylor Fast has taken over the narrative path of all of the league nearest information of her rumored romance with two-time Tremendous Bowl champion tight finish Travis Kelce unfold like wildfire, blurring the traces between sports activities fandom and popular culture. 

Swifties have taken a newfound hobby within the NFL — sending price ticket costs and jersey gross sales hovering — and that were given us eager about doing the similar in opposite. 

With out additional ado, right here’s each NFL franchise if it used to be a Taylor Fast music.

Arizona Cardinals: “I Forgot That You Existed”

“It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference.”

We didn’t heartless to begin this checklist off by means of taking pictures, however we needed to book it actual. The deficit of hobby in Arizona could be very a lot a factor this season with journeyman QB Josh Dobbs prominent the fee in playground of two-time Professional Bowler Kyler Murray, who hasn’t suited up since tearing his ACL past due terminating season and whose fix has been dull by means of offseason drama.

Sitting on the base of the NFC West, the Cardinals haven’t posed a lot of a warning this season. Many soccer lovers have forgotten about them altogether, however apparently the franchise has, too. Dobbs lately had bother finding any copy jersey of his within the crew’s gather, even if the use of Arizona’s computerized jersey selector. Assumption they forgot, too.

Atlanta Falcons: “You’re Not Sorry (Taylor’s Version)”

“I was wasting hoping you would come around. I’ve been giving out chances every time and all you do is let me down.”

We’re chatting with you, Desmond Ridder. The Falcons have scored just one landing of their era two video games, and their persisted offensive woes appear to be worsening because the season continues, even with stars like Kyle Pitts and Bijan Robinson.

Baltimore Ravens: “Cruel Summer”

On manage of the chronic Lamar Jackson guarantee drama that fed on the group and its fan bottom forward of the 2023 season, the Ravens had a handful of key gamers journey unwell ahead of the terminating hour of summer time on Sept. 23, headlined by means of RB J.Ok. Dobbins (Achilles) and WR Odell Beckham Jr. (ankle). 

To not point out, Baltimore misplaced certainly one of its manage defensive gamers past due in the summertime when three-time Professional Bowl CB Marlon Humphrey, who has but to go back, underwent underpinning surgical operation.

Buffalo Expenses: “Change (Taylor’s Version)”

“It’s a sad picture, the final blow hits you. Somebody else gets what you wanted again.”

The Expenses get this akin to creating a Tremendous Bowl run yr nearest yr — simplest to fall cut in spite of having what’s broadly indubitably to be one of the vital absolute best groups within the league season nearest season. 

Fast sings, “These things will change. Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. It’s a revolution, the time will come for us to finally win.” That turns out extremely becoming for Josh Allen & Co., who’ve discovered a rhythm early this season.

Carolina Panthers: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”

Carolina picked up superstar rookie QB Bryce Younger with the Incorrect. 1 general select on this yr’s draft, and he has already ignored generation because of shock. 

The Panthers are certainly one of simply two groups left with no unmarried win but this season in spite of Younger’s arrival.

Chicago Bears: “This Is Me Trying”

“I’ve been having a hard time adjusting. I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting.”

Justin Boxes has skilled his justifiable share of ups and downs right through his cut generation within the NFL, steadily hanging up video-game speeding numbers year the Bears proceed to fall cut. 

Simply this year, they blew a 21-point manage to gather their 14th instantly loss and fall to 0-4 at the season in spite of Boxes tallying his first occupation 300-yard passing efficiency and four-touchdown contest.

Cincinnati Bengals: “The Story of Us (Taylor’s Version)”

“I don’t know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down, and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.”

Joe Burrow‘s calf shock is on the root of a lot of what’s falling aside for the Bengals, however there’s so a lot more to it than that, as a unused truth turns into sunlit for a crew that gave the impression to be inching nearer to a Tremendous Bowl name. 

The Bengals will want a severe turnaround ahead of they may be able to even get started eager about a playoff run this season.

Cleveland Browns: “Bad Blood”

“Now we got problems, and I don’t think we can solve ’em.”

Rookie QB Dorian Thompson-Robinson had a fully brutal NFL debut filling in for injured starter Deshaun Watson, who has did not advance the needle a lot for Cleveland up to now this season. To not point out superstar RB Nick Chubb lately went unwell with a season-ending knee surgical operation nearest the Browns misplaced their inauguration proper take on Jack Conklin in Year 1. 

In spite of one of the vital league’s absolute best protections, Cleveland is mired at .500.

Dallas Cowboys: “New Romantics”

“Oh, ’cause baby, I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me.”

Dak Prescott and the Cowboys are the epitome of an terminating love-hate courting. Haters like to abhor them, and Cowboys lovers are die-hard. It sort of feels everybody, even the largest lovers, all the time has one thing to mention about Mike McCarthy & Co. 

Denver Broncos: “Foolish One (Taylor’s Version)” (From The Reserve)

“You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high. Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something’s really not right.”

Russell Wilson and the Broncos are sitting on the base of the AFC West. Including insult to shock, Denver gave up an eye-popping 70 issues in Year 3, and the extra of the season seems completely dismal. 

The Broncos was hoping bringing in schoolteacher Sean Payton may just briefly medication what ailed them, however their issues are a lot too immense, consistent with FOX Sports activities’ Martin Rodgers.

Detroit Lions: “Wildest Dreams”

Jared Goff and the Lions are prominent the NFC North, with each their offense and protection locked in early this season. FOX Sports activities’ Carmen Vitali mentioned the Lions gave the impression of the whole lot they had been hyped as much as be of their emphatic Year 4 win, and I don’t suppose Detroit lovers may just’ve dreamed up a extra inspiring get started nearest years of persisted sadness.

Inexperienced Bay Packers: “Style”

“When we go crashing down, we come back every time ’cause we never go out of style.”

Many lovers idea the Packers had been unwell for the rely heading into this season nearest Aaron Rodgers’ arguable offseason move, however QB Jordan Love lately earned his first house win at Lambeau as a starter and the arrow seems to be up for Inexperienced Bay, which is hanging up a battle within the NFC North early this season.

Houston Texans: “Cowboy Like Me”

Fast sings, “I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve,” and it seems like the Texans do too nearest settling on C.J. Stroud with their 2nd general select on this yr’s draft as their unused franchise QB. Because the get started of the season, the 21-year-old posted probably the most passing yards ever of any QB in his first 4 occupation video games (1,212) and simply poor the league report for probably the most cross makes an attempt with out an interception (151) to begin an NFL occupation. 

To not point out, the Texan’s large receiver workforce, which used to be believed to be one of the vital crew’s maximum obtrusive weaknesses coming into 2023, has been certainly one of Houston’s largest strengths and one of the vital absolute best devices within the league, consistent with FOX Sports activities’ Ben Arthur.

Indianapolis Colts: “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)”

The Colts’ self belief is “through the moon” with rookie QB and Incorrect. 4 general select Anthony Richardson on the helm and with superstar RB Jonathan Taylor reportedly eyeing a return to the field in Week 5. 

Indianapolis continues to be a piece in proceed, however the Colts have the boldness had to keep at the up and up. “I don’t think some of these guys understand how good we are,” linebacker Zaire Franklin lately mentioned.

Jacksonville Jaguars: “Shake It Off”

Coming into 2023 with large expectancies, Jacksonville has been maddeningly inconsistent — “flashes of excellence and brilliance and then a setback,” as schoolteacher Doug Pederson put it. 

Each generation Trevor Lawrence takes one step ahead, he turns out to shoot a couple of steps again, and Pederson says it’s generation to get again to fundamentals and shake off the out of doors noise. Possibly their Year 4 win over Atlanta in London is an indication issues are “gonna be alright.”

Kansas Town Chiefs: “Love Story (Taylor’s Version)”

Since all of this has sprouted from Fast and Kelce’s rumored romance, this one is a no brainer. Additionally, two Tremendous Bowl wins within the era 4 years? Feels like a soccer love tale to us.

Las Vegas Raiders: “Castles Crumbling (Taylor’s Version)” (From The Reserve)

“They used to cheer when they saw my face. Now, I fear I have fallen from grace.”

Jimmy Garoppolo and Davante Adams haven’t precisely been the preserve grace the Raiders was hoping for in what they was hoping used to be a unused occasion.

Los Angeles Chargers: “Electric Touch (Taylor’s Version)” (From The Reserve)

“Got a feelin’ your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life.”

Generation L.A. for sure wouldn’t be regarded as a “ghost town” in any alternative context, it’s disagree miracle that it isn’t broadly regarded as a quintessential soccer town in comparison to alternative plenty markets across the nation. 

With the Rams profitable Tremendous Bowl LVI, and their NorCal neighbors the 49ers having gained it 5 instances ahead of, the Bolts haven’t come akin to this kind of luck, however a powerful appearing from them this season may just spark a newfound hobby.

Los Angeles Rams: “Bejeweled”

“Best believe I’m still bejeweled when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer.”

Matthew Stafford confirmed everybody he’s nonetheless gritty plenty to get the win, enjoying thru a hip shock in Year 4 to keep away from consecutive highway losses and ship a wild extra time to book the Rams above .500 at the season. 

Even with out celebrity wideout Cooper Kupp, the Rams can nonetheless dazzle at SoFi Stadium. We’re chatting with you, Puka Nacua.

Miami Dolphins: “Blank Space”

“So it’s gonna be forever, or it’s gonna go down in flames. You can tell me when it’s over if the high was worth the pain.”

There’s a unoccupied range looking ahead to the winner of Tremendous Bowl LVIII, and the Miami had the entire hype right through their hot 3-0 get started that integrated a ancient 70-20 win in Year 3.

However nearest a lopsided loss in Buffalo, it’s disagree undercover the decision continues to be out on Tua Tagovailoa’s skill to manage them to the Promised Land.

Minnesota Vikings: “Lavender Haze”

The Vikings have shyed away from an 0-4 get started with a rally in Carolina, however Kirk Cousins, Justin Jefferson and Co. nonetheless want to emerge from their early-season fog.

Unused England Patriots: “The Last Great American Dynasty”

The Patriots’ dynasty days with Tom Brady may well be within the rearview, however they’re surely nonetheless the latest stunning dynasty within the NFL — love them or abhor them — in order that they get the nod right here.

Unused Orleans Saints: “Picture To Burn”

“So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another picture to burn.”

The Saints are 2-2 headed into Year 5 nearest scoring 4 offensive touchdowns up to now at the season, the crew’s lowest general thru 4 video games since 1975. What’s extra, they’ve scored 21 issues or fewer in 10 instantly video games. Ouch. 

Derek Carr, who has been enjoying thru a sprained AC joint in his throwing shoulder, hasn’t had a solution for Unused Orleans’ mounting offensive woes, and it’s disagree miracle Saints lovers are dropping religion and endurance on this workforce.

Unused York Giants: “Anti-Hero”

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.”

Sorry, Daniel Jones. This one’s lovely self-explanatory. 

Unused York Jets: “You’re on Your Own, Kid”

“I didn’t choose this town. I dream of getting out. There’s just one who could make me stay.”

OK, so we don’t know needless to say that Zach Wilson is sitting round dreaming concerning the hour that he’s now not a Jet, however it doesn’t appear that a ways off when all of the franchise and its fan bottom is apparently in a position to offer him the boot. That might’ve been within the playing cards for Wilson had Rodgers now not torn his Achilles tendon within the crew’s season opener and thrust Wilson again into the highlight nearest a tumultuous sophomore season.

Possibly Wilson’s efficiency Monday evening signifies all isn’t misplaced but.

Philadelphia Eagles: “Better Than Revenge (Taylor’s Version)” 

Next narrowly dropping the Tremendous Bowl previous this yr, the Eagles are certainly one of simply two undefeated groups left nearest Year 4 and aren’t appearing any indicators of slowing unwell. 

What’s extra, Jalen Hurts has in large part silenced the critics who now not way back had been wondering his skill to be the Eagles’ franchise starter.

Pittsburgh Steelers: “Long Story Short”

“I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole.”

The Steelers’ incapability to attain issues has been a plenty factor to this point this season. If that wasn’t plenty, QB Kenny Pickett sustained a knee shock that has Pittsburgh’s life putting within the steadiness, and the hype order RB Najee Harris has been most commonly simply that — hype.

San Francisco 49ers: “Mastermind”

“Just like clockwork, the dominoes cascaded in a line. What if I told you I’m a mastermind?”

There’s disagree denying Kyle Shanahan is a mastermind for what he has performed with Brock Purdy because the former “Mr. Irrelevant” used to be catapulted into the highlight past due terminating season when Jimmy G went unwell with a underpinning shock. 

Shanahan’s personal gamers through the years have steadily old this time period when relating to him and what he comes up with on offense. 

Seattle Seahawks: “The 1”

“I hit the ground running each night. I hit the Sunday matinée. You know the greatest films of all time were never made.”

As Seahawks lovers know all too smartly, Seattle wasn’t “running” on the finish of Tremendous Bowl XLIX, that means the crew’s dynasty tale used to be by no means in point of fact made.

Nonetheless, the flow crew presentations some sun shades of contending. The Seahawks offense has been sneaky just right, and the go back of superstar protection Jamal Adams may just spark a protection that’s loaded with a mixture of veterans and kids with splendid playmaking abilities, consistent with FOX Sports activities’ Bucky Brooks. 

Plus, rookie nook Devon Witherspoon introduced his arrival with a stellar Monday evening efficiency towards the Giants.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: “Everything Has Changed (Taylor’s Version)”

The Baker Mayfield occasion in Tampa Bay is wildly other from the Brady occasion, regardless of the way you spin it.

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Tennessee Titans: “The Archer”

The Titans have in spite of everything began flashing their possible this season, however the offense must to find consistency to deliver to book up with the Joneses in an AFC South the place each unmarried crew these days sits at 2-2. 

From time to time, Tennessee is the archer at the garden, and alternative instances it’s the prey, as Fast would say.

Washington Commanders: “Haunted (Taylor’s Version)”

Newly minted QB Sam Howell has quieted one of the vital complaint that he has been plagued with in fresh weeks, however it’d be naive to mention that the Commanders have all of it found out — and truthful to mention that the QB place has haunted Washington within the era (11 other starters within the 5 earlier seasons). 

We’ll have to attend and spot how this one shakes out.

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